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The Sharing Shuffle: How to Teach Sharing + Taking Turns to Children with Autism and Special Needs


sharing taking turns for children with Autism

Imagine a world where every slice of pizza had your name on it, every carousel horse was reserved for your personal gallop, and the playground swings waited for you like loyal pets. Sounds like a child's paradise, doesn't it? Yet, in the grand sandbox of life, we're not lone architects building castles in the air. Sharing and taking turns is the secret dance we all must learn to get along and keep the music flowing harmoniously. When it comes to children with autism or special needs, teaching this dance requires patience, creativity, and perhaps a dash of humor—because sometimes, you'll find more than just sand in your shoes after the dance is done.


Why Sharing and Turn-Taking Are Essential:


For children with autism or special needs, sharing and taking turns isn't just about playing nice. These are fundamental social skills that serve as building blocks for friendships, classroom dynamics, and eventually, workplace etiquette. It teaches them empathy, patience, and the subtle art of negotiation. It prepares them for the give-and-take of relationships and fosters an understanding of cooperation and communal living. In essence, it's not just sharing toys; it's sharing in life’s journey.


Teaching Sharing and Taking Turns to Children with Autism or Special Needs:


  1. Model the Behavior: Children learn a great deal from imitation. Share with them, take turns, and express how happy it makes you feel to do so.

  2. Use Visual Aids: Timers, visual cues, or exchange tokens can help make the concept of turn-taking more concrete.

  3. Praise Generously: When they do share or wait for their turn, shower them with praise to reinforce the behavior.

  4. Social Stories and Role-Playing: Craft stories or play scenarios where characters share and take turns, highlighting the positive outcomes.

  5. Consistency is Key: Apply rules about sharing and turn-taking consistently across different settings and situations.

  6. Teach Coping Strategies: Sometimes waiting can be hard. Teach them what to do when they feel impatient. Making a "sensory box" or "calm down kit" for you child to use is essential for every child with Autism or Special Needs. Create one that they can also take with them on a trip or to school.

  7. Make it Fun: Turn sharing and taking turns into a game. Celebrate every success with cheer and sometimes, a little happy dance.


Top 10 Books on Sharing and Turn-Taking:


Teaching Sharing and Taking Turns to Children with Autism or Special Needs:


  • Frogs learn the value of sharing after a dispute over a pond.

  • Ages 3-7, best for preschoolers.

  • Available: Bookstores, Amazon | Price: Approx. $7


Teaching Sharing and Taking Turns to Children with Autism or Special Needs:


  • Llama learns that it’s more fun to play together than to have everything to himself.

  • Ages 2-5, best for toddlers.

  • Available: Bookstores, Online retailers | Price: Approx. $9


Teaching Sharing and Taking Turns to Children with Autism or Special Needs:


  • Elephant and Piggie books are fantastic for illustrating social concepts like empathy and sharing emotions.

  • Ages 3-8, best for early elementary.

  • Available: Libraries, Bookstores | Price: Approx. $9


Teaching Sharing and Taking Turns to Children with Autism or Special Needs:


  • This book covers sharing within various contexts, ideal for children needing explicit instruction.

  • Ages 3-8, best for PreK-2nd grade.

  • Available: Bookstores, Online | Price: Approx. $11


Teaching Sharing and Taking Turns to Children with Autism or Special Needs:


  • A beautiful fish learns the joy of sharing his most prized possessions.

  • Ages 4-8, best for kindergarten through 2nd grade.

  • Available: Bookstores, Online | Price: Approx. $8-18 (depending on the edition)


Teaching Sharing and Taking Turns to Children with Autism or Special Needs:


  • This classic tale demonstrates the magic of what can happen when everyone contributes a little.

  • Ages 4-8, best for elementary school.

  • Available: Bookstores, Online | Price: Approx. $7


Teaching Sharing and Taking Turns to Children with Autism or Special Needs:


  • Another Elephant and Piggie book where they find an inclusive way to play with a new friend.

  • Ages 4-8, best for preschool through 3rd grade.

  • Available: Libraries, Bookstores | Price: Approx. $9


Teaching Sharing and Taking Turns to Children with Autism or Special Needs:


  • This book encourages acceptance and understanding, paving the way for sharing and turn-taking.

  • Ages 3-6, best for PreK-1st grade.

  • Available: Bookstores, Online | Price: Approx. $8


Teaching Sharing and Taking Turns to Children with Autism or Special Needs:


  • A playful approach to counting and sharing as kids learn that playing together can mean more fun.

  • Ages 2-5, best for toddlers and preschoolers.

  • Available: Bookstores, Online | Price: Approx. $10


Teaching Sharing and Taking Turns to Children with Autism or Special Needs:


  • A playful approach to counting and sharing as kids learn that playing together can mean more fun.

  • Ages 6-8, best for toddlers and preschoolers.

  • Available: Bookstores, Online | Price: Approx. $6

How to Use These Books:


These books are not just to be read but experienced. Encourage your child to talk about the characters and how they might feel in each situation. Discuss what they would do in the same scenario and praise the idea of sharing and waiting for their turn. Use the stories as a springboard for role-playing games and encourage children to practice taking turns with their favorite toys or during playdates.


Additional Tips for Parents, Teachers, and Therapists:


  1. Create a Safe Environment: Ensure that the child feels safe and that their possessions are respected. This encourages them to do the same for others.

  2. Social Skill Groups: Enrolling children in social skill groups can provide them with a structured environment to practice sharing and turn-taking.

  3. Patience and Encouragement: Understand that progress may be slow and celebrate small milestones.

  4. Consistent Routines: Establishing a routine can help children understand the predictability of taking turns and reduce anxiety.

  5. Incorporate Interests: If a child has a particular interest or favorite toy, use that as a basis for teaching sharing and turn-taking.

  6. Professional Guidance: Sometimes, seeking the help of a professional such as an occupational therapist or a speech-language pathologist can provide tailored strategies to aid in the child's social development.


Teaching children with autism or special needs the choreography of sharing and taking turns is much like a dance. It requires rhythm, patience, and often, a few toe-steps. But oh, when they get it right, it’s like watching a heartwarming ballet of human kindness. As you turn each page of these colorful books, remember that you’re not just teaching skills; you’re opening doors to new friendships, opportunities, and the joy of community for your child.


So, let's embrace the missteps and the triumphs alike, for each is a note in the melody of growth. And through this symphony of sharing, we're not just guiding our children to say "your turn" instead of "mine"—we're helping them to find their place in the grand orchestra of life, complete with the standing ovation they deserve. Now, isn’t that something worth sharing?


When it comes to the bustling microcosm of the classroom, children with autism and special needs can sometimes find the waters a bit choppy. The skill of sharing and turn-taking is not just an asset but a necessity. It's the golden ticket to smoother interactions, reduced conflicts, and an inclusive learning environment. For teachers and therapists, weaving this skill into the fabric of daily activities requires thoughtful strategies and an understanding heart.


For Special Needs Teachers in the Classroom:


  1. Structured Group Activities: Start with activities that have clear rules for taking turns. Games with a spinner or a dice naturally build in this structure and can make the process clear and predictable.

  2. Visual Schedules: Use visual schedules to show whose turn it is during various activities. This makes expectations clear and helps students with autism understand the sequence of events.

  3. Social Narratives: Develop social narratives that explain situations where sharing and turn-taking are required, helping students understand why these skills are important.

  4. Role Modeling: Teachers should consistently model sharing and turn-taking in their interactions with students and other staff members.

  5. Peer Modeling: Pair students who excel at sharing and turn-taking with those who are still learning. Often, peers can be powerful models.

  6. Positive Reinforcement: Reinforce sharing and turn-taking behaviors with praise, or consider a token reward system where students can earn privileges.

  7. Collaborative Projects: Engage the class in projects that require a group effort, like building a puzzle or creating a mural, which naturally involves sharing materials and taking turns.

  8. Social Skills Curriculum: Integrate a social skills curriculum that includes lessons on sharing and taking turns. Reinforce these lessons with role-playing and group discussions.


For ABA, Occupational, and Speech Therapists:


ABA Techniques:


  • Discrete Trial Training (DTT): Break down the skills of sharing and turn-taking into small, manageable steps and teach them systematically.

  • Task Analysis: Use task analysis to teach the steps involved in turn-taking and sharing during play or group activities.

  • Incidental Teaching: Capitalize on naturally occurring opportunities to practice sharing and turn-taking.


Occupational Therapy Strategies:


  • Social Participation: Focus on activities that enhance social participation, like cooperative play tasks, which require taking turns.

  • Sensory Integration: Be aware that sensory processing issues may affect a child’s ability to engage in sharing and turn-taking. Adjust the environment accordingly to minimize sensory overload.

  • Fine Motor Activities: Incorporate sharing and turn-taking into fine motor activities, like passing beads to string on a necklace or taking turns drawing on a shared piece of paper.


Speech Therapy Approaches:


  • Communication Boards: Use communication boards or electronic devices to help non-verbal children request turns and acknowledge others.

  • Scripting: Teach scripts that students can use in social situations to ask for a turn or to offer a turn to someone else.

  • Group Conversations: Practice turn-taking in the context of group conversations, using a tangible object like a microphone or a talking stick to indicate whose turn it is to speak.


Additional Tips for Professionals:


  • Create a Safe and Predictable Environment: Make sure each child knows what to expect and feels secure in the environment you create.

  • Encourage Self-Advocacy: Teach children how to ask for a turn or how to say no in a polite way if they’re not ready to share.

  • Use Technology: Tablets and apps designed for special education can offer interactive ways to practice these skills.

  • Consistency Across Environments: Work with families to ensure that what’s being taught in therapy or the classroom is reinforced at home.


Incorporating these strategies within the classroom or therapy sessions can make a world of difference. The ultimate goal is to empower these children with the social tools they will need to navigate the playgrounds and boardrooms of their future. As special educators and therapists, it’s our privilege to choreograph the first steps of their dance into social fluency, one shared toy or turn at a time.


Remember, while the journey might be filled with missed cues and stepping on toes, each step forward is a victory. Every time a child passes a ball or waits for their turn on the slide, they are inching closer to a world where “mine” becomes “ours” - and that’s a victory dance worth every shuffle, every leap, and every twirl.

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